I regret to inform you that my heart has been accepted elsewhere; I must therefore withdraw my submission. I truly admire your publication. I won’t pretend I don’t harbour regrets. With hindsight, I wish I’d waited for your response before submitting elsewhere; your publication is more prestigious, and arguably a better match. Furthermore, I realise you don’t technically even accept simultaneous submissions; for that I apologise. But acceptance is acceptance. It would be gauche to hold out for more, not to mention a bad gamble, considering the condition of my heart, with its uncertain character arc and tentative, inconsistent voice.