Some Men: A Survey – Monica Dickson

Some Men - Joeno Mias, Pixbay

Please note: Your participation in reading and completing this survey is voluntary. You may decline to participate or withdraw your consent to participate at any time, with no negative consequences.

If you do wish to take part, please place a √ in the boxes most applicable to you.

CRITICAL THINKING/PROBLEM SOLVING – PERSONAL

1. Do Some Men:

 Touch/compliment you excessively in front of their partners?

 Want a relationship when you’re alone then ignore you in public and/or when they’re sober?

 Take a sudden, intense interest in you at the end of your holiday/leaving do/graduation?

 Believe that telling you their problems is a form of flattery for which you should be grateful?

 Say ‘What’s the big deal?’?

COMMUNICATION/LEADERSHIP – PROFESSIONAL

2. Have you experienced:

 Wanting you to, or being expected to, move out of his way?

 Your bra strap being plucked as you walked past him in the classroom?

 ‘Bants’ at the office party suggesting all female employees should be sterilised?

 A lift to a meeting = remarking on the size of your breasts before you’ve even put your seat belt on?

 Arriving home from work to find a message on your answerphone, threatening to ‘hit you with a piece of four by two’ [if so: was it from the Managing Director of the company? Yes/No/Wtf]?

 Are there any other unwanted encounters with Some Men at work that you would like to share? (NB. Optional. Please continue on a separate sheet if necessary) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

INTERACTING/RESPONDING SOCIAL (esp.) MEDIA

3. You say/post something about something (politics, your kids, the cat, anything). Have Some Men called you any of the following:

 Ugly?

 A ‘sluty femminist’?

 Man-hating?

 Stupid?

 A miserable fucking bitch?

OTHER CONTRA-INDICATORS – GENERAL

 Something feels a bit ‘off’

 Wanting to be ‘friends’

If you have experienced Some Men ‘wanting to be friends’ which of these statements sounds most familiar? Please circle/delete/insert words where applicable:

 You are such a good listener.

 This floor is really uncomfortable.

 I’m lonely/cold/sad/___________(other) but also aroused at the sight of you wearing an old t-shirt and spot cream to bed.

 My girlfriend/wife is so delicate/in love with me/gaslighted/___________(other) and I’m so sensitive/fond of her/manipulative/___________(other) that I can’t bring myself to hurt her.

 So sex with you would be great so long as she never finds out.

Finally, based on your overall, lived experience would you say:

 Not all men?

 Definitely Some Men?

(you may select one or both)

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